I couldn't put it down, it was so darn good and helpful. But one part of it really struck a chord with me.
Now forgive me if I don't get this concept exactly as Schaefer put it in the book because I'm going to reflect on it as I have experienced it.
The concept she describes is a trick that Ed uses that forces us to have tunnel vision, but only to the negative areas of our bodies and personalities.
I like to call it narrowing in on our flaws because that's essentially what we are doing. Ed picks out the flaws or areas he wants us to focus on and draws our attention there so that we can then feel bad about this area and thus unworthy.
For me, when I read this part in the book, I immediately felt exactly what she was talking about. I had always felt a pull of negative energy directed towards my outer thighs, butt, and arms but could never figure out why, and now I had the answer.
It was Ed and his deceptive lies.
As I continued to read, Schaefer gave me the assignment of trying to focus on a part of my body that I typically would never focus on, like my elbow or toes. And when I did this seemingly insignificant task, everything changed.
I focused on my elbow and for the first time in a very long time, I was no longer aware of my outer thighs or arms, or butt. Instead all of my energy was put into my elbow.
Because this concept was so eye opening for me, I wanted to share it with you. If you have read Schaefer's book already then you know what I'm talking about, but it you haven't I would encourage you to go read it.
Also I want to invite you to try this exercise with me:
Lay down on your bed or somewhere comfortable and let Ed take you to your 'flawed' spots that he so loves to show you. Now instead of getting stuck there, take your focus to a part of your body that you wouldn't usually think about, or even to some part you like about your body.
Keep your focus on this spot for as long as possible. Do not allow Ed to pull you back. How do you feel here? What kinds of thoughts come up for you?
Take time to reflect on these feelings. Think about what you are experiencing and how this technique could help you when certain situations arise where Ed is controlling you.
You have the power to overrule Ed, you just have to realize it and focus on your own strength.
Ed has many tricks up his sleeve, and this is only one of them, but learning how he 'gets' to you will allow you to be there to stop him.
It's not always going to easy, but it's always going to be worth it.
Give this a try and tell me how it goes. And if you'll already tried this, how was your experience?