"Your personality is your hell, and I have to hammer it and bring out your individuality, which is a totally different phenomenon--that which you had brought with you when you were born. This personality is a cover that has been put over you by the society; it is a mask. But you have lived with the mask so long that you have started thinking it is your original face." -OSHO
This is how I try to write because I know I can relate easier to the truth.
Anyways, I wanted to share the paragraph above because I found it to be so true, especially for myself. It really opened my eyes to the fact that everyone is faking something in there life. Their career, their relationships, their caked on smiles.
People (including myself!) are walking through life wearing masks. Sometimes, the person one sees at work is not the same person when seen at home, or vise versa.
I know for me my mask is so clear. I can recognize it everywhere I go and in everything I do. I even have multiple masks! I think it's so funny too, when people believe I'm soft-spoken, shy, and withdrawn. The other day my counselor said something like this and I just laughed because for me, I'm definitely not this person. This is one of my masks I put on when I go out in public or when I'm with people I don't know. I also use it when I'm around people who I feel are judgmental or easily critical.
But my true self is the crazy, spontaneous, funny, free spirited girl I am when I am alone or with my fiance. Only a few people have ever known this side of me, the real me, and for reasons I'm still trying to figure out. I don't like to show people who I really am because I fear they'll reject me, hate me, or think I'm just too weird. The funny thing is though, is that my true self is my best self. I love this person. I love the fact that I can be caring and passionate. I love my adventurous spirit and my need for excitement.
My "quiet" mask is the part I hate. I hate that I create it. I hate that I can't take it off. I wear it like it's who I am, when in reality my real self is NOT this person. I hate everything about this person. And this is why it's so hard for me to love my entire self because somewhere along the way, I've made this mask a part of who I am.
That's why when I read this paragraph, the idea immediately registered for me. We walk around with these masks we've created (consciously or unconsciously) and eventually we begin to think that this is who we truly are. But the real truth is that these masks are fake, we wear them to protect ourselves, cover up, and show the world someone else.
My second fake mask is my gym mask. Although I'm still shy and reserved at the gym, right when I walk through the doors, my "tough-girl" mask appears. I am a strong, confident, take-not-shit girl with this mask, and it makes sense in the gym environment because ego is huge there. Guys walk around slamming weights down and grunting, so I have to feel tough and confident in order to be comfortable.
This mask, I love as well. I love how I feel at the gym. It's the only place where I am confident in my abilities and self. I love my strength and my toughness.
I just wish I didn't have to wear masks all the time, constantly walking around faking who I am. I guess all of these masks are a part of me in some way. But what is real and what is the result of societies conditioning?
Do you wear masks? Are there two sides of yourself, or three or four?