I'm having one today.
I got up this morning and just felt like going back to bed. I tried to do something productive but ended up taking a nap instead and now I feel a sense of guilt about this.
My thoughts seem to be racing through my head telling me that I must move, I must get something done, or else I am a failure. It is these thoughts that are making me feel guilty and sad and that's why I can't listen to them.
Before, when I was engulfed by ED and his traps, I wouldn't even be capable of recognizing these thoughts. I wouldn't be able to tell that they were not true, not mine, not real. But now, I can. I know that these thoughts are not loving thoughts, they belong to ED and they are lies.
So today, instead of listening to these thoughts and trying to fgure out how to move and get something accomplished, I'm just going to sit back and breathe.
I am going to relax.
Who said I had to move? Who said that it would make me a failure if I didn't get anything done today? Who said I had to accomplish something in order to be 'good'?
No one. Not me.
I am going to lay down, fall asleep if I want, and listen to my body throughout the rest of the day. And when those thoughts come back, those lies of ED's, I am going to be ready and they will not affect me.
Have you ever felt this way? Not wanting to do much of anything? Have you ever gave yourself the permission to do just that, without feeling guilty? Are ED's thoughts still becoming ones you listen to?
Ask yourself this: "WHY?"
Why are you listening to him/her still? What makes you so attached to his/her words, voice, commands?
What will it take for you to let go? For you to listen to your body instead?