In fact it has been my entire life. I can’t even remember a time when I could truly say I loved my body.
When I was little, of course I loved myself but it wasn’t something I had to struggle for, or even think about. I was carefree and wild naturally without trying.
This changed when I got older and falsely believed that in order to be liked I needed to have a certain body and a certain personality. At the time, neither of those things lived up to my fake perceptions of what beauty was and what life was meant to be.
I thought that being thin was all that mattered and being quiet was just not “cool”. Turns out this line of thinking got me into some deep trouble and it would take almost a decade to break free.
From the time I was twelve I hated myself. To me, my body was disgusting, wrong, and not good enough. To me, my shyness was weird, unnatural, and prevented me from being “someone”.
Through my anorexia, I was able to express myself and make myself better. Or so I thought.
The opposite came true.
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P.S. Don't forget to join me in spreading awareness for NEDAwareness Week on my facebook page! Today is Operation Beautiful Tuesday!