Well today I have a very special guest writer with me. Kelsi from Progression Obsession is going to be taking over to talk about some of her experiences with Ed and his voices. Take it away girl!
One of the most memorable questions I received was, "Do you and other patients with eating disorder really hear voices in your head? Voices that tell you not to eat or work out all day long? I'm having a hard time understanding that concept."
I chuckled and answered with, "Yes- but that makes us sound a little crazy." The room of parents laughed along with me as I explained further.
One of the most difficult, yet important things while recovering from an eating disorder, is learning to change those pesky eating disordered thoughts or "voices in our head," as one of the parents described it. Often times, during the depths of an eating disorder, we don’t realize that those ED thoughts are unhealthy and it becomes routine to give into that way of thinking.
As our bodies become more malnourished, the brain also suffers the consequences, resulting in a distorted body image and the never ending voice from ED screaming that we are not good enough.
My favorite analogy is to pretend there is a little bird on each of my shoulders; one bird is my ED bird and is constantly putting me down, while the other is my healthy, rational bird. Over time, the ED bird becomes bigger and much stronger than the healthy bird, so it becomes nearly impossible to hear the little healthy bird. The ED bird eventually starts singing so loudly that it distorts everything in life. Simply put, the ED bird takes over.
The good news, however, is that there is a way to find that healthy voice and with time, silence the ED voices.
Here are a few of the steps that have helped me gain control over the ED voices:
-Recognizing the unhealthy thoughts
-Finding the triggers that cause these thoughts
-Coming up with your own list of unhealthy thoughts
-Develop healthy thoughts to combat the ED thoughts
-Repeat as many times as necessary
And here are a few examples of things ED would convince me to do, followed by my own healthy thoughts to help fight back against ED:
ED: I am having a stressful day; food is the last thing I need.
Healthy Thought: Food is the first thing I need. Eating balanced meals will help relieve some of this stress and help me think more clearly about the situation.
ED: I can’t believe you just ate that! You are fat and worthless. It’s time to hit the gym to burn off those calories.
Healthy Thought: I need to eat- plain and simple. Food will give me the fuel I need to live out my dreams and the nutrients to help my brain work more efficiently. I do not need to go to the gym; that is a disordered thought and I will not give in to it.
ED: Go out with your friends? Are you joking? There will be food there. You have already eaten today and don’t deserve to have fun.
Healthy Thought: Going out with friends will bring me happiness, laughter and silliness. I deserve to have a good time. If there is food around, I will not allow myself to feel guilty about eating.
ED: Get on the scale first thing in the morning and then plan your daily intake around that number.
Healthy Thought: Stay away from that scale! No matter what the number is, it will never make me happy. That number means absolutely nothing and numbers do not define me.
ED: “You look healthy” You must have gained weight.
Healthy Thought: Looking healthy is a good thing, even if I don’t believe it yet. My body image is still extremely distorted.
ED: You aren’t hungry. You deserve to skip dinner tonight.
Healthy Thought: Although I may not feel hungry right now, I need to remember that my hunger cues are still adjusting. I deserve these calories as a way to nourish my body.
To answer the initial question, "Do eating disorder patients hear voices?" simply put, the answer is yes. These voices, however, are reversible and there are ways to fight back. It can be a difficult thing for an outsider to comprehend, but I think it's important for people to know these ED voices do not make us crazy. Eating disorders are a very serious mental health disease and this is one of the many symptoms involved.
If you are reading this and find yourself overwhelmed with ED's pathetic lies, please remember you're not alone. It might seem like a daunting task to overcome these voices, but with time, practice and tons of patience, you can bring your healthy thoughts back to life.
Thank you Kelsi!
xoxo
Tayla
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