We’ve all been there, standing in line and now all of a sudden wondering if losing weight is the answer to all of our problems. Is that the magical cure?
When I’m thinner, will I be happier?
And this is exactly what these magazines want you to believe, because then you’ll buy it and try their product. That is all they want.
But if we were all just a little more honest with ourselves, we would realize that thinness does not guarantee happiness just like being poor doesn’t guarantee depression.
Being thin and having a size two pant size, unfortunately is not what will solve your problems. In fact, most of the time, trying to do this will just increase your problems.
When we think we aren’t good enough as we are, we start seeking out other forms of approval in order to feel okay. Sometimes we reach for food, booze, sex, and sometimes we reach for less of these things.
When weight loss becomes the main goal, ask yourself what your reasoning is behind it. Why do I really want to lose weight? How will I be different, how will I feel after I’ve lost weight?
If your answer is something along the lines of “losing weight will give me happiness.” Or “losing weight will make people accept me,” or even, “losing weight will help me accept myself,” you need to rethink your decision.
Because the truth is that losing weight, becoming a certain size, looking a certain way, will not get you any of those things. And yet we falsely believe this because we are scared to face the real and most often the hardest questions we keep bottled inside.
“What is the real reason I can’t accept myself?” “Why can’t I love myself now?” “What is keeping me in the dark?”
These are the real questions to ask yourself because most of the time, the problem is not with how we look or how much we weigh, but rather with how we view ourselves.
What we think about ourselves can determine the course of our lives and will rule us even without our knowledge. Believing that you are not good enough or that you aren’t pretty cause’s pain within you, it keeps you from accepting yourself.
And your weight has nothing to do with that.
When we can view and accept ourselves as we are now, in this moment, new light will shine through and we can really start living instead of just surviving.
Have you ever lost a large amount of weight just to feel even worse than you did before?
I have, but my story might be different than yours or it could be the same. I started out healthy and happy, but as the surroundings in my life became too much to deal with, I saw my weight as a problem that needed to be solved.
Even though I wasn’t overweight, I thought that if I could be thinner, if I could be the thinnest girl in my class, than I would be happier and I would be accepted.
If only I were smaller, all of my problems would dissolve.
Unfortunately the opposite happened, because when I lost weight, I felt even worse. I had lost a part of myself in the process. I had lost friends, lost opportunities, and things I could never get back.
To make a long story short it took me eight years to finally realize that it was my love for myself that was missing the whole time.
I had no self compassion whatsoever, so it didn’t matter if I lost every pound on me, I would still be searching for something I didn’t have. But once I found self love and acceptance for myself on my own terms, I found freedom as well.
Love is the problem. Acceptance is the problem. Worth is the problem.
When we fail to recognize this, we go searching for other ways to soothe our aching souls.
Weight loss will not allow you to love yourself. Eating more food than you need will not allow you to accept yourself. Searching for perfection will not make you worthy.
Your own self love will make you worthy. Acceptance of your body, your soul is what will allow you to find happiness.
Because happiness starts inside, not outside. Love starts inside, not outside.