And we're all dealing with that in our own way, however there seems to be one major thing in common: the need to forget.
We're running from something we need to forget. A past decision we made, a lover that left us, ideals people set for us. It's all the same, just our ways of running are different.
My method of running involved controlling my food intake and exercise habits, until that didn't work anymore, then oxy was the best bet for a bit, until that ran out, and now it's watching tv shows in order to get swept away into someone else's world so I don't have to live in mine. I am constantly running from the things I wish I could forget, do without, etc.
I run so I don't have to feel my emotions, so I don't have to deal with problems of mine or in my relationships, so I can be numb and light, so I don't have to suffer from the hatred within my own mind.
Others run in the form of drugs, alcohol, sex, work, staying busy, exercising, controlling others, and the list goes on and on. Anything can be a form of running if it becomes something you do in order to forget what you need to confront.
Take 'staying busy' for example. This seemingly innocent act is something millions of people do every single day, yet why, what for?
Why do people insist on keeping themselves busy? What's so wrong with having nothing to do?
Because when there is nothing to do, the brain wonders and thoughts take a hold and you end up remembering what it is you wanted to forget. You're staying busy in order to block the thoughts from catching up with you.
My fiance does this all the time. Whenever he's feeling down or upset, he finds things to keep himself busy, working on the car, going to the gym, cleaning the house, etc. It seems legitimate at first, but what are the reasons behind the action? If you're busy just because you have to get something done for school or work, then by all means, be busy. But when you actively look for things to keep you busy and your mind at work, then there's something else going on.
And this goes for any of the forms of running. Because they're all forms of addictions like it or not. Once they become something you use, they're no longer helpful.
TV shows are great, they exist to entertain people and make people happy. But when you watch them all day, every day, just to escape the reality of normal life, they become...not so great.
I had no where else to turn because I'm a runner. I'm not afraid to admit that. I'm not immune to the epidemic. I have always found ways to escape reality, because things are easier that way. I turned to TV shows which is, essentially another form of reality. One we wish existed but does not. When I watch these shows, I don't think about anything. I am fully emerged in their fake world, engulfed by these fake characters and their problems. Thus, I forget my own problems.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that it's not just about drugs, alcohol, and other commonly known addictions. If we are truly aware of our thoughts, we'll realized we are all trying to escape something, forget something, run from something. We all do it in different ways and it's important to grasp this idea. Anything can be an addiction or form of running if we allow it to be. I'm not saying to stop, I'm just thinking out loud and maybe help you realize something you've been trying to forget.
xoxo
Tayla