It's been a couple days without opiates and the symptoms of withdrawals are tapering off slowly, but their effects are still quite uncomfortable.
Early withdrawal signs for me personally included a fever-like feeling every single day, severe back and muscle aches, headaches, restless arms at night, and insomnia that stole my ability to sleep, right from under me.
At first, the back aches and pains were the worst, and kept me from wanting to do anything whatsoever, but have since gone away slightly over the past couple of days. To be honest, I wasn't even aware that my symptoms were due to my withdrawal, until after searching for answers on the web.
The worst of everything has been the restless arms at night. Actually I should say, restless ARM, as only my right has been keeping me awake. I thought it had to do with the fact that I was drawing so much, which caused my forearms to be tight, but apparently not. It's just another symptom and should go away. However, the last three nights have been horrible, as the most sleep I think I've gotten has been about 4 hours. I dread the day when it all catches up to me and I'm dead tired.
Withdrawals of this type are new for me but are kind of similar to the process of anorexia recovery because there are withdrawals that go along with that as well. Such as the need to count calories, the need to know what it in everything you eat, etc. You have to stop those behaviors and the consequences come as anxiety and a constant restless feeling all over.
I don't think it's rare for someone who has suffered from an eating disorder to fall into another type of addiction because they are prone to getting addicted and hiding their feelings. At least this is true for me. I have the type of personality that gets hooked on things and takes everything too far, and I'm trying to change this, but it could always be a part of me, so dealing with it and figuring out how to identify triggers and such is important too.
Sometimes change isn't really what we need, but rather acceptance. Because change can sometimes make us feel as though what we are or what we do is 'bad' or 'wrong', whereas learning to accept things can help us bring awareness to the issues and then go about making better changes.
I don't know, just a thought.
On another note, I have started reading one of my OSHO books, called Destiny, Freedom, and the Soul: What is the meaning of life? like I said I was going to do in my last post. Well, it's really good, different, but good, and I wanted to share something that really touched home when I saw it:
"Listening to your own heart, you will start moving in the right direction, without ever thinking about what is right and what is wrong...And following it through any means, and go wherever it takes you. Yes, sometimes it will take you into dangers--but then remember, those dangers are needed to make you ripe. And sometimes, it will take you astray--but remember again, those goings astray are part of growth. Many times you will fail. Rise up again, because this is how one gathers strength--by falling and rising again." -OSHO
She'll Be Free is my outlet for all things wonderful, healthy, loving,and strong. I am passionate about helping others find confidence and self-love through knowing their worth and finding their strength.
Subscribe by Email