2. To be able to eat freely without guilt.
3. To be able to actually laugh.
4. To live and not just survive.
5. To have my thoughts back again.
6. To have control over Ed and not the other way around.
7. To find the beauty in the everyday.
8. So I don't have to live in fear of what others think.
9. So I can go to college and make friends.
10. To gain my Mom's trust back again.
11. To be able to exercise and not be worried I'm going to faint.
12. Because I want to show people I can.
13. To be able to do the things I want to do.
14. So I will have peace with food again.
15. Because I want to wear clothes that actually fit again.
16. So I do't have to hide my weight loss anymore.
17. To finally enjoy the holidays with the family.
18. To eat without the fear that people are watching or judging me.
19. So I can enjoy dinner with my family again.
20. Because birthdays are more fun with cake and ice cream.
21. To be free from society's standards of beauty.
22. So I can love better.
23. To prove that it's possible.
24. So I can have peace with my imperfections.
25. So I don't constantly feel like ending my life.
26. Because being hungry hurts.
27. So I don't have to be in pain anymore.
28. To get out from the darkness of depression.
29. So I don't have to try to be perfect when I know I can't be.
30. To be able to travel the world.
31. So I don't have to continue to lie to my loved ones.
32. To be able to have energy again.
33. So I don't have to cause my family any more pain.
34. To show my siblings they can look up to me.
35. So I can get good grades again in school.
36. To prove to myself that I am stronger than Ed.
37. So I don't have to cover up my scars.
38. To be able to raise a family.
39. So I don't have to dread situations where there is food.
40. Because being sad all of the time is no way to live.
41. To not be so irritable anymore.
42. So I can concentrate.
43. So I don't have to lie about the scars on my arms.
44. Because life is better when I'm happy.
45. To be able to feel real emotions again.
46. So I can stop judging how my day is going based on my weight.
47. To be able to solve my problems in a reasonable way.
48. So I won't have to worry about how many calories I'm eating.
49. To be able to enjoy real food.
50. So I don't have to worry about my bones breaking.
51. To be able to go out without thinking everyone is looking at me.
52. So I can finally feel full for once.
53. To be able to enjoy my wedding.
54. To be proud of myself again.
55. So I don't feel like I'm constantly letting people down.
56. Because having some curves is a good thing.
57. To be able to shop for food without having to check the labels on every single item I buy.
58. To be able to eat the things I really want to eat and not feel guilty.
59. So I don't have to live in fear anymore.
60. So I can sleep at night without worrying if I'm going to wake up or not.
61. To be able to love life again.
62. So I don't have to rely on the scale for my worth.
63. To be able to eat without people watching me.
64. So that I can accept other people's love.
65. So I don't have to cover up the real reason why I'm not eating.
66. To be able to enjoy lazy days again.
67. So my body can have a break for once.
68. To not worry about how many calories I've burned or am going to burn.
69. So I can give my body what it needs.
70. To not have to fear the doctor.
71. So that I can have kids one day.
72. So my family doesn't have to worry about me when I'm away.
73. So people don't ask me what's wrong.
74. So I can pick up on Ed's lies and fight them.
75. Because being a women is much better than being a 14 year old boy.
76. To be my true self again.
77. To be happy again.
78. So I don't have to be cold all the time.
79. So I don't feel like I'm going to faint.
80. So I can exercise without feeling like I might pass out.
81. To be able to smile and mean it for once.
82. So that my Mom doesn't have to act like the food-police anymore.
83. To have the power to disobey Ed.
84. Because having a period is a good thing.
85. To be able to look in the mirror and like what I see.
86. So that I can be strong instead of weak and fragile.
87. Because life is more than calories and exercise.
88. So I can stop worrying about what I'm going to eat.
89. So I don't have to worry about who knows and who doesn't.
90. To eat chocolate and actually enjoy it.
91. So I can stop body checking myself every two seconds.
92. To actually have clothes that fit.
93. So I can actually get a good night's rest.
94. So I don't miss out on my life.
95. To be able to help others.
96. Because being tired all the time sucks.
97. To be free from Ed's control.
98. So I don't have any more 'close calls' anymore.
99. To be able to enjoy being alone.
100. To be able to share my story of hope one day.
Please don't give up now, there are so many reasons not to. Keep going.
What are your reasons to recover?